Friday, January 16, 2015

Sequel to Christopher Moore's 'A Dirty Job' coming in 2015, or, This job will be the Death of me

       Everyone has a favorite Christopher Moore novel. For some, it's 'Lamb', for others it's 'Fool', personally, I'm in the vampire camp, and love 'Bloodsucking Fiends' the best. But no matter what their favorite book is, almost everyone says, the same thing as their follow-up, 'oh, but I also love 'A Dirty Job'. 
       There's something wonderful about Charlie, that everyone I know just loves. He's endearing, and slightly unhinged, and he's a delightful father to the world's most remarkable daughter. I hope she grows up to be like Susan Sto Helit for America (and really, in her off-time from playing Lady Mary on Downton Abbey, can Michelle Dockery please make live action versions of 'Soul Music' and 'Thief of Time' happen already? Cause she nails it as Susan in 'Hogfather'.)

        The last few years, when Christopher Moore has been touring he's talked a bit about how a sequel to 'A Dirty Job' was coming soon, and that time is here: Secondhand Souls will be released August 25, 2015. Though no cover blurb has been announced, fans of the first book should know what to expect. If you haven't read it yet, then now is a great time.Really, go buy it now. 
        There is (previously unrelated to Christopher Moore somehow) a tradition in England of ghost stories at Christmas. Connected no doubt to the Winter Solstice, and the traditional death of the old year. In this tradition, as a Christmas present to his fans, Moore posted a sample on his blog that introduces a character new to us, Mike Sullivan, and the ghosts who visit him to tell him there stories.        Below is a link to Moore's blog, and the story that one of these ghosts shares with Mike, enjoy!

Friends of Dorothy – An excerpt from Secondhand Souls

Mike Sullivan is a painter on the Golden Gate Bridge. From time to time, the ghosts of the bridge visit him. 

©2014 Christopher Moore


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  2. Why no mention of the forthcoming sequel to “Lamb,” titled “Ewe”? It’s about an hermaphrodite named Ewe Heifer born in Pine Cove, who inherits the family trait of having no calves. This inspires Ewe to open a franchise of clubs for legless men, called the Play Buoy Clubs, where men float in pools of holy water and are attended by waitresses dressed up as Easter Bunnies; the only drink served is a Virgin Mary. The waitresses are actually Easter egg laying Lamia with serpentine lower bodies (hence they have no calves either). The head Lamia is Auntie Krist (THE Auntie Krist). The clubs at first do not do well financially, leaving Ewe without a leg to stand on. But then a magazine based on the clubs’ recommended insouciant lifestyle is produced with the logo EH, and becomes Ewe’s initial success. It features centerfold pictures of nude people with deformed or unnatural bodies.

    Joshua aka Jesus has been missing for years, having become lost on an expedition to the North Pole when he actually ended up going to the South Pole instead by mistake because he took the wrong crossing. This left Joshua with bipolar disorder and a loss of direction in his life. But he finds his way back to civilization with the help of Archangel Raziel and a talking penguin. He then tries to restore the real meaning of Easter. He encounters Ewe, and discovers that to succeed in his mission, he must have Ewe believe in Him. The hermaphroditic Ewe joins with Him by becoming a hymn, and entering Joshua’s mouth. This produces a by-blow son they name Ram. The rambunctious kid has two penises, which results in his being sent to a penal colony in Canada because the Phallus See Of Sex has him arrested for fear of the Second Coming. While there, the penises grow up to become anacondas, and Ram forms a comedy group called the Mountie Pythons. The anacondas recoil at this misnomer, and run off to join Hydra.

    In a shocking ending, we discover that Ewe Heifer is actually a reincarnated female Lamia born of a mating between Eve and the original Serpent of the Garden of Eden, and that the reason Mary was able to give virgin birth to Joshua was because Ewe had secretly secreted one of her own eggs into Mary’s womb while Mary was asleep. Thus, not surprisingly, the Lamb’s mother is actually Ewe, who is the offspring of Eve, who is the daughter of Joshua’s Father, who created her after he ribbed his son Adam for masturbating. In reaction to this Oedipal dilemma, Joshua goes blind, but gains second sight from one of his True Pupils. He is then able to restore Easter to its rightful meaning: a pagan rite celebrating the spring goddess Ēastre. Joshua marries Ēastre and the next generation of female deities, the Ēastrogens, spring from Ēastre to rule the Earth with rapture. This gets a rise out of Joshua, who had become impotent, but now has once again risen.